January 15, 2015

Breaking News: BranPo Uses Tear Gas on Crowd of 150 “Greek” Students. 0 Students Injured, 3 Posters Damaged.

WALTHAM — From forcing smiles to getting forced out, the “Greek” community at Brandeis received more than a few unwelcome visitors at their event last night. Brandeis Police shut down the semi-annual “Meet & Greek” run by the Brandeis’ three sororities. According to our sources, Brandeis Police responded to the event by dispersing the crowd with tear gas. For those unfamiliar, “Meet & Greek” is a time for Brandeis sororities to recruit new members.
We spoke with Sammie Gould, Rush Chair of Lambda Omicron Lambda for further information on the debacle. When asking her what happened, she responded: “These Brandeis cops just like barged into Ridgewood Commons and were all like ‘no sororities allowed on campus.’ And then they threw tear gas at us. Like, can they just not? I was just like so upset because I spent like six hours putting together our recruitment poster!” Gould continued by indicating that she had her suspicions about the culprit who reported the event to BranPo: “It was obvi a reject from last semester.”
A sister of Beta Alpha Delta, who wishes to remain anonymous, expressed her disappointment in the Brandeis Police unit. She asked us, “why is BranPo going after us when half of campus is lighting up in their rooms?!” Unfortunately, we are not at liberty to answer this question but it is under investigation.
Mia Vassilopolis of the Greek Heritage Awareness Council (GHAC) tells us that, herself included, some Greek Brandeis students feel uncomfortable with the cultural appropriation brought about by the “Greek” organizations on campus. In the act of standing up against organizations that commercialize her heritage, Vassilopolis is grateful that BranPo could maintain Louis Brandeis’ legacy of social justice advocacy by holding these girls accountable and unleashing the consequences.

Like This!